I need to admit, I didn’t leave much of my house since COVID hit. Why? I am not sure. Maybe because last year I was too much in hospitals and I couldn’t even imagine going back there. Maybe because my inner voice is telling me that. I believe the information on COVID is evolving as time pass. This is all new and what was true three months ago is not true today.
GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE
The preparations started; mask, gloves, Lysol wipes, a jacket in the case was cold and an umbrella in the case it rains. I left my apartment praying not to encounter a neighbour at the elevator or that the elevator won’t stop on any floor and I might need to kindly say to someone I don’t feel comfortable sharing the ride with them.
THE NEW REALITY
While I was walking to the grocery store, a memory of the joy I use to experience smelling the flowers and the crisp air came to mind. I realized that I couldn’t enjoy any of that now and to top it up the mask was making me sweat even more than I already do due to my “personal summers”. I cannot feel the textures of the fruits and veggies through the rubber gloves, and the Lysol wipe makes my skin dry. Furthermore! The look of the vibrant street from yesteryears is gone. Lots of empty stores and some you could sense trying to survive. COVID brought devastation and uncertainty.
So I asked myself: “Should I stay home or should I go out during COVID? I am afraid and I am sad to see what is going on. On the other side of the coin, I am aware of the Cave syndrome: fear of social interaction. I don’t want to develop that! Can you imagine me, the social butterfly afraid of social interaction?
IN SEARCH OF THE NEW NORMAL
I am trying to find my new normal and right balance. It’s time to redefine what works for me and sits right in my heart. I am surrendering to the new reality and detaching myself from what was right for me three months ago. We are evolving as individuals and as a society. I need to admit that I am enjoying my company and getting to know very nice things about myself.
I believe it is an important time to ask ourselves questions like this one to reorganize our priorities and redefine our believes: “Should I stay home or should I go out during COVID?” The world had changed, so do we!
Don’t allow anybody to define what’s right for you. There are no recipes, no certainties in the medical field to tell us what to do. Trust your instinct and follow your heart. We are equipped with the tools to decide.