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Find everything from within!

Find everything from within!

The days passed and we are over six months into the COVID era. We needed to find answers and surprisingly we managed to find everything from within! Yes, everything had changed. We as humans, to survive, we rapidly adapted. We are getting used to the new norms and a young generation of kids are learning it as the only reality they know.

COVID is like a coin with a “Creation side” and a “Devastation one”. During COVID times, some believe they are lucky as the coin felt face up on the opportunity/side for them. Others feel unlucky as it felt facing down for them. I don’t believe in luck. I believe in humans taking responsibility of their destiny as we all have the power to define our future by the actions we take in our journeys. 

Here some positive things COVID brought

  1. Gave permission to do things people were hesitant to try.
  2. Put a magnifying glass on the extremes that existed in our society.
  3. Pushed every individual to redefined terms and priorities.
  4. Catalyzed technological advances.
  5. Time to find everything from within!

1- Permission

How many young moms wanted to homeschool their kids and didn’t dare to go against the grain? “What would happen to the kids?” They were wondering, “Are they going to be socially inadequate?” Now, COVID sent all the kids home and moms are seeing the benefits. Of course, this is not a solution that fits every household or every kid!

The same happened with the home office concept! Companies were hesitant to move and try remote work. The new reality with COVID forced them to experiment with what they were postponing for years. Suddenly lots of data is coming in that will help companies to plan their future moves and views on this topic.

2- The magnifying glass effect

Problems don’t arise overnight. Problems and behaviours live within us in us latency. Throughout our lives, we learned tools to adapt and control ourselves to be socially accepted. Stress can trigger human emotions exposing unwanted behaviours. As COVID showed up suddenly, we didn’t have time to prepare or accept the changes imposed in our daily lives.

Overnight our survival switch was “on”, and all the control we believed to have, was out of our hands.

Losses of jobs and the fact many stayed more time at home living extended hours interacting with the family, change the dynamics. The fusses got snappier than ever and lots of domestic violence is happening. Consumption of alcohol rose considerably which lead to worst outcomes. The personality problems were there!  Now, the lack of communication became obvious, and the new scenario wasn’t favouring those involved in this kind of toxic relationship.

Although, on the flip side of the coin, those who had a good relationship embraced the opportunity to spend more time together, to share things that busy routines were in the way without even noticing. Lots of people became more empathic, more tolerant and less egoistic.

We had time to stop and smell the roses!

3- Redefining terms and priorities

COVID made us stop our life abruptly forcing us to stay at home and preventing us to do anything we were used to doing outside of our houses. The society had time (which we were always craving for) to realize after a few weeks into lockdown, that we were not missing so badly the restaurants or the bar experience, the rushing to meeting friends and having the feeling of running without a destination.

Finally, we started to enjoy our homes, to declutter our lives and fell a sense of stillness.

We accepted the fact we won’t be travelling abroad for a while and maybe it is a good idea of travelling locally to support our country, provinces, cities and neighbourhoods. A sense of community was reborn. My hubby and I buy from the grocery corner store, smaller stores became more desirable and safer than the massive supermarkets.

You and I want the small business owners in our hoods to survive therefore we make a conscious effort to buy from them.

Our priorities shuffle. No better, no worst. Just different. The accent is now put into humanity, into looking around and become part of something bigger. It’s a time to find everything from within!

4- Catalyzed technology advances

Did I need to go to the doctor’s office and wait for an hour in a room full of sick people sometimes for hours? How come the teleconference wasn’t available before COVID? Why people didn’t trust online shopping for produce and now they are doing it and enjoying it? Kids couldn’t attend remote classes or us remote meetings especially in days when heavy snow made so dangerous the driving?

Fear and perfection it’s all that comes to mind. I call this “The polishing effect”. When someone is afraid of failure, rejection or not being good enough, it feels safer to keep polishing the gem believing one day it will become irresistible and impossible to be rejected. But that rarely happens in real life! Especially nowadays that technology moves at a speed very hard to catch for the average person!

The old and wise quote “Better done than perfect” os proving itself during COVID. 

I am a firm believer in disruption as a catalyzer for progress.

COVID disrupted our world in ways we couldn’t imagine or anticipate. As the evolution shows not the stronger are the ones who survive, are the more flexible and adaptable individuals, businesses and societies. The power of our communities is greater than we believed in the past and to our surprise, we could find everything we need within.

This pandemic brought us time to find everything from within! By that, I mean within ourselves, our homes, our families and most importantly our communities and countries. If we always had it all from within then the question reminds… What, why and who told us we needed to be looking outside? Different people, societies and history will remember COVID in different ways. It will all depend on the boat each one was in during the storm.

I naively hope COVID would continue pushing society to reflect on the experience and learn from the rights and wrongs during these uncertain times.

Please leave your thoughts and experiences during COVID! I would love to learn how are you navigating this journey.

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Is food a tool or maybe a metaphor?

Is food a tool or maybe a metaphor?

Food is a tool, isn’t it?

You might be wondering… What does she mean by “food is a tool“?  Well, let me explain myself with an example. As most of you know, Eli is the official chef in my house. He loves to cook! Every morning, as soon as he wakes up, he decides the dish he will cook that day. Then he will plan his day accordingly. After his daily 8 km walk, he will stop by the grocery store to get the fresh produce needed. Sometimes, he would drive to the Turkish, Korean or  Middle Eastern specialty store to find special ingredients he’ll need. Later in the day, the cooking will start with his traditions and rituals. It’s a pleasure to observe him. His creative side comes alive and he gets into a trance similar to meditation. Food is his maximal expression of love and care.

Live to Eat or Eat to live?

Last Sunday I found myself starving. Eli was upset and didn’t cook for a couple of days. One of the things I learned after twenty years of marriage is that cooking is his way of expressing his feeling. On the other hand, cooking for me is an obligation. I cook only when I have to; either when someone depends on me or when I have no other option. Food in my parents’ home was only to cover a necessity. I started cooking that evening because I had no food all day. Suddenly I was deeply thinking about how food is a tool serving different purposes for different people. Here are some of the ideas that came to mind. Of course, it would be amazing if you can add some more to the list!

  • It’s a basic tool to survive.
  • It nurtures our brains and our body.
  • Helps to share our cultural background.
  • Build bridges between people from different cultures.
  • It’s one of the five love languages to express feelings and emotions
  • Develops creativity while following instructions
  • Can be a time to practice mindfulness
  • It’s an expression of art
  • Teaches history
  • Carries traditions

Did you ever think of food as a metaphor?

I find it was fascinating how my imagination was unleashing as I was getting deeper into my creative space. I loved it because helped me realized how everything is connected and intertwined; feelings, emotions, food, words. Furthermore, everything is loaded with meaning, stories, memories and experiences. Food is more than a simple tool. It can be a metaphor for our own existence. The skills learned from our family, friends and mentors throughout life become the ingredients that created each one of us as a unique dish. We are one recipe made with the ingredients life presented us. Did you ever think that some of those ingredients and underused or forgotten? Or that maybe combining them in a different way we could come up with new dishes?

I think life is sending us an invitation to visit OUR own creative spaces allowing OUR imagination to guide us to unknown flavours of ourselves…

I firmly believe COVID had stopped us in our tracks forcing us to reflect. That by itself is a gift in disguise waiting to be recognized. Did you know we have a Book Club twice a month? During those meetings, we analyze chapter by chapter of the book Say YES, Ask questions laterallowing our community of participants to learn and understand others’ perspectives and points of view. Would you like to join us? If you want to watch some short videos inspired by the weekly blogs, make sure to SUBSCRIBE to my YOUTUBE channel.

Adventure makes me Tick and Talk. Not TikTok!

Adventure makes me Tick and Talk. Not TikTok!

What makes you tick these days?  Adventure makes me Tick and talk

The nice days have finally shown up! I feel an itch for new adventures. Suddenly I long for the spontaneity of the days we would say: ” Let’s go somewhere for a couple of days” and half an hour later we would pack and off we be on our merry way. The thrill to discover something new and exciting makes me tick. Adventure makes me Tick and Talk. No TikTok!

By “talk” I mean sharing what I see, learn and taste on my journeys, and bringing my unusual experiences to the table (or couch) of many people around the world. It’s fun for me and exciting for them. Win-win. The way I love to live life!

I am not going to sit at home and watch TikTok! It’s time to find new things that make me tick and talk! Despite my hubby not feeling like travelling, I decided to plan a road trip by myself and call it my private retreat/ashram. My adrenaline started to flow and my brain goes like this: Where to stay? Maybe camping? Airbnb is risky nowadays with COVID… How about renting an RV?

Then these thoughts led me to my friend Brigitte. “She has lived in her Volkswagen Van for more than three years. An RV is even the next level” my thoughts were going wild! No need to use stranger’s bathrooms, showers or linens, all while being able to be in nature, changing locations and landscapes as I wish. I loved the idea! Now I was really ticking!!!

Joanna loves adventure!

Every Wednesday for the past month I have worked with Joanna, my colourful German friend. Last week, as soon as she walked through the door, I knew it! She would be the one; the perfect partner for my upcoming adventures. As I was pondering with excitement over the plans, concerns and vision for this trip, Joanna looked at me with fascination. YES was written all over her face!

So the quest for information on the RV lifestyle began! It’s exciting and thrilling to realize the many new lessons that are going to start coming our way. The following Sunday we were on our way to Delta to check some. I need to admit that as soon as I was in front of one of those beasts I felt intimidated. Self-doubt soon araised. Am I going to be able to drive this monster?

Despite the fact that the Rv we saw was filthy and the lady who showed us didn’t have any kind of willingness to make our experience pleasant, we got excited the moment we set foot inside the monster. My imagination started to unleash and could see us working in nature, meeting new people and discovering new places.

That night, I went to bed with the tingly sensation of being alive again! For some reason, I imagined some friends who would be negatively triggered by the unknown of the adventure immediately feeling fear and anxiety. Totally contrary to what was happening to me; awakening feelings of hope, purpose and curiosity.

I fell asleep wondering why are we all so different? Why the same experience triggers different feelings and emotions in each one of us?

In spite of having lots of questions these days, I have a few certainties. What I know for sure is that adventure makes me Tick and Talk. No TickTok. No TikTok! One more time, fasten your seat belts and get ready to join our ride! I can assure you it will be entertaining, as dull moments are not part of Joanna’s and myself colorful lives!

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The superpower of words

The superpower of words

Do you believe in the superpower of words? I started to understand it better after I met Fabi. She was born in the slums of Rio de Janeiro. She was ambitious and had a burning desire to get out of poverty. At the age of fourteen, she started working at the factory where she used to deliver sandwiches to the workers after school.

That allowed her to save up enough money to attend university and buy herself a ticket to freedom. Unfortunately, the needs of her family got in the way and so she went back to work. A few times she tried to finalize her studies but every attempt was overshadowed by the needs of her mom or her younger sister. Her professional career kept growing despite lacking the accreditations. Her witty and sassy personality got her to become the HR manager of a prestigious Spanish bank in Brazil.

I met a very attractive woman, financially independent with a zest for life that only Brazilians have. Yet, she was single. It was hard to believe she didn’t have a long line of pretenders. We went for coffee; the half-hour business meeting turned into a long-lasting friendship. After three hours sharing stories, travels and dreams I dare to ask her about her love life. Her answer shocked me. Why? I asked naively. That’s when Fabi shared with me the superpower of her mom’s words when she was seven years old.

“I need to get my diploma before I get married”

A ten-word-sentence that changed her love-life story forever. The mandate she received from her mom at age seven couldn’t be fulfilled. The mom’s words were tattooed deep in the heart of this strong and successful thirty-year-old woman. She was loyal to this powerful mandate, and was trapped in it for over twenty-three years! I am sure her mom never knew the superpower of her words!

Reflecting…

One of my passions is meeting people and learning from their life stories. After meeting Fabi I started to pay attention to the fact, that in some way or another, we all have strong super powerful words tattooed on our hearts. This is true whether they be from our parents, teachers, friends or mentors. Some of those phrases push us forward in life and some do exactly the opposite. My mom used to say:

“The melons settle in the cart only when the cart is in movement”

That’s a powerful statement that kept me always moving and trying!  I believed problems would resolve on the go not waiting for the perfect solution to show up. I believe if you dig into your memories, you will find super powerful words and phrases that somehow shaped you. It’s important to be aware of them and analyze whether they are affecting us positively or negatively.

“Speak when your words are as sweet as silence”

It also made me reflect on the superpower of my own words. Our words impact others in ways we might never know. Hasn’t it happened to you that you meet someone ten years later and they remind you of a sentence you said? Most of the time we don’t remember it or we didn’t think it was important, but for the other person, it meant so much that they still remember it years later! We need to understand what we say to others is a big responsibility! Especially if you are a parent, a teacher or a doctor.

Kids are looking for the approval of respected authorities. Kids need and want to be seen and liked to develop healthily! By the way, don’t you recognize your younger self in these statements? Don’t you want to be seen and heard by your peers, by people holding authority positions like your spiritual guru, your professor, your fellow researcher or your coach? I do!

Who to trust?

Nobody! Yes, I am dead serious. What is true to each person doesn’t mean it will be true to you! As you know “Say YES, Ask question later” is my life philosophy; a way of living. I don’t believe it is for every person on the planet! For some, it might lead them to disaster! Despite that, I think the exercise of asking yourself the questions will advance you in your personal journey of self-awareness. So my most honest advice is as follows: QUESTION EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY.

Five questions before trusting or hiring an authority

These are the  5 recommended questions before trusting someone and giving them the benefit of believing their super-powerful words.

  1. Are these statements aligned with my personal believes and values? “Fake it till you make it” is a statement I hear more often than not. I will suffer if I needed to live even one day of my life faking anything!
  2. Do I have the personality type to enjoy living as described by others? I am the type “I”.  So if I was advised to live calculating every penny, every minute and structuring my life with deadlines I would NOT be happy and it wouldn’t be long before I burned out!
  3. What’s the story behind the authority? I always ask what made them decide to do the job they do. When they answer, pay attention to identify words that define dreamers or doers. Always go with the doers!
  4. Why do I need to be rushed? When I hear “only for today” I actually hear “I am desperately in need of your money”
  5. Why is their truth the absolute truth? Only when they are talking about exact sciences, like formulas or theorems, I am OK accepting their truth. Otherwise, “truth” is one of the most subjective ideas. It is based on perceptions, perspective, personality and many other variables.

I hope this article sparks your awareness of the superpower of words and guides you to ONLY believe in the voices of authorities you really TRUST.

 

 

 

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